It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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