just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
