God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
