so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
false alarm. still invincible.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
