he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
