If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
