I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
