3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
