we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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