sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My pussy is not your playground.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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