piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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