I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
