This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
