Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
