erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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