Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish i was in the wii world.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
