Fuck appropriateness.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
