It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
