Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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