think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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