She said her name was "party"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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