If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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