can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
