I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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