Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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