I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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