carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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