That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
