Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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