Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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