As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
