Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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