my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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