It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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