"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
