Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
