If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?