He kissed a someone with a penis
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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