Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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