idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
