I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
