I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
