I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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