we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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