At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
