Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
