ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
