I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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