we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
