Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
