think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
