have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
