no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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