whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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