I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this will be a night to untag.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
