so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
