we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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