May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
