Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
