What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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