did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
