Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
