Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
