so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
