I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
