Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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