bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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