I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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