It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
