you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
